Category Archives: Death

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Beyond Life

If a man tries not to learn he grows old just like an ox!

His body indeed grows old but his wisdom does not grow.

I have gone round in vain the cycles of many lives ever striving to find the builder of the house of life and death.
How great is the sorrow of life that must die!
But now I have seen thee, housebuilder: never more shalt thou built this house.
The rafters of sins are broken, the ridge-pole of ignorance is destroyed.
The fever of craving is past: for my mortal mind is gone to the joy of the immortal NIRVANA

- The following excerpts are taken from the book The Dhammapada translated by Juan Mascaro published by Penguin Books

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Perfect Impermanence

Everyday I think about the possibility of dying or losing people close to me. It may seem like a morbid preoccupation but it’s far from that. Living this way helps me to focus on the joys of my life and the serenity that exists in my world. Dealing with the impermanence of life inspires me to get going and not get caught up in the simpler stresses of my life like my bipolar condition or the temporary money issues that I’m currently dealing with.

What prompted to bring this up today is that an old friend that I grew up with from a very young age passed away last weekend. I hadn’t seen him in many years but we reconnected on Facebook for a time and it was nice to hear from him. He was only 43 and died in his sleep. I don’t know the details but I suspect he had some serious health problems that plagued him. Whatever the reason, he died way too young and his passing was a reminder to me about how fragile our lives can be.

While I’m mildly depressed from mourning my old friend, I know that I’ll get over his death and move on. But, when a death occurs in our lives, even if it is someone we may have lost contact with, it can bring up all sorts of feelings about past losses and the future losses of people we love that will occur. Obviously, no one wants to ponder a future where we will die, get old and possibly sick and wither away but it’s inevitable.

This certainly doesn’t mean we have to obsess over death or be fearless in the face of it, but to live a complete life we have to embrace the inevitability on some level. I personally don’t believe in an afterlife though I’m open to the possibility of my soul being reincarnated in the Buddhist tradition. Yes, I’m scared of dying; it’s a fear that’s healthy and built into our limbic systems but the more I cope with it, the less terrifying the concept becomes.

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Spirit Vs. Tech

If more people dealt with their short time on this planet (and their inevitable, limited lifespans), the world might be a better place. Just sayin'...

As a spiritual (but not religious) being, I continuously try to suppress my cynicism around the global obsession with technology. Over 10 years ago, I did a series of computer illustrations about this same problem and damn, 10 years later we all now how much worse it’s gotten.  I may try another series that’s more sophisticated but it’s going to be some endeavor!

Many people these days would rather hide in their iPhones, super fancy cars, laptops (no, I don’t hide in mine but is has become an appendage for the better), high-def TVs – you name it, than deal with their spirituality and the afterlife. Maybe millions of people perceive that the world has so many problems that it’s like the Atomic Age where material obsession really started to ramp-up , especially in the U.S,. to help them cope with the possibility of global annihilation.

I don’t profess to fully believe in reincarnation or Nirvana (or even “Heaven”), but I’m open to the possibility. I’ve found lots of slices of Nirvana in my own life so if I don’t get to that spiritual resort in the ether, then so be it; I’ve had plenty of fun and fulfillment in this one. I’ll just do what I can to help others see their own inner light and find their own core of peacefulness and wisdom and hope that as a species, that we can start to find our paths again.

The sublime and sad piece by Max Richter that I listened to while writing this post:

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A Cactus Not Long For this World

I love the saguaro cacti of the Sonoran desert. They are truly majestic plants and represent an incredible natural endurance in the face of environmental adversity. I also find their fallen cactus comrades fascinating too. They have an almost skeleton-like structure. This one was lying off a path in Sabino Canyon in Tucson.

Impermanence #5

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This is truth in advertising

“This Body Will Be A Corpse”

Organic Cotton Tee

http://theidproject.org/node/773

Don’t forget this basic truth, and don’t let your friends forget it either.  Wearing this tee is a reminder to stay in touch with the reality of impermanence as well as a way to support the efforts of the Interdependence Project.

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Our Brains Were Built For Worry, But It’s Not Required

A friend once asked me:

“Paul, why do you think we humans perceive so much of our lives  through such negative filters and why do we worry about so much unnecessary shit?”

I replied,”Because at the dawn of our species (and our ancient ancestors like australopithecines all the way to homo sapiens) were faced with innumerable threats in their immediate environments. Fight-or-flight was necessary to survive and when we were faced with dangerous predators, possible starvation, hostile tribes, water shortages, disease and and on and on there was a valid, biological and social reason. We really had to worry about survival our anxiety could help to keep us alive.”

Of course, modern humans don’t have nearly as much to worry about. Granted, starvation and warring tribes is a reality for too many people, but for us comfortable first-worlders we tend to be safe from these threats. Hence the reason that I teach and talk about peace, holistic health and mindfulness. As a species, we still have the biological mechanisms in our brain, like our reptilian and mammalian parts, to alert our bodies to perceived threats. Now we have our neocortices that we can increase the power of and control our primitive fears and anger.

In addition to loving wellness and psychology, I’ve always enjoyed studying our ancient ancestors to better understand our modern selves. Dr. Daniel Sigel’s book “Mindsight” has a good perspective on our fight-or-flight bio setup. Check out the chapter called “The Crepes of Wrath”. BTW, Siegel is the man and he’s even subject to the laws of the primitive brain as you’ll find out if you read that book…

An illustration I did of an Australopithecus Afarensis. Lucy's male conterpart.

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Gratitude by Killing Joke

Though you may not realize, post-punk, industrial, heavy rock band Killing Joke have unleashed incredible music and an awesome philosophy for over 30 years. They are a true inspiration to me. They manage to find the balance between dealing with the madness of the modern world, mindfulness and the struggle to stay positive in the face of global adversity. If you’re into intense, tribal music you must treat yourself to their music. I’d recommend about 90% of their catalog but their more recent work really connects well with our modern world issues. Their first four albums also predicted a lot.

Here are the lyrics to their album “Hosannas From The Basement of Hell”. Even if you’re not a heavy music fan, I’ll bet that you can relate to the lyrics:

Gratitude

Let me tell you about the hearts of my people
Let me tell you of the meaning of our tribe a dream unspoken
A promised kept the secret comes alive

For all the years I’ve watched your back
And you’ve watched mine
We always knew the clouds would part
And a golden dawn will shine

And when you find yourself upon the untrodden path
Remember me with a smile, a drink
A gesture or a laugh gratitude

You look at me but I’ve been looking at you
We only were a mirror to show what you could do o innovator
O enlightened scholar play and write rewrite the old books
Renaissance perform new rites of light

The wise will redefine paradise the farmer and the visionary
A village, simple lives adapting to strange seasons
In certain remote regions where no one has exemption
From total redemption

And when you find yourself upon the untrodden path
Remember me with a smile, a drink
A gesture or a laugh and a toast for the man

Who loves every hour of every day
And a feast for the friends and faces met along the way gratitude

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Brightest Brights, Darkest Nights

When you have bipolar disorder, life is filled with extremes. Nothing seems to come in moderation and the blue areas seem to be few. I call these middle, calm moments the blue areas because to me it represents coolness and peace. The hypomania would be red mixed with orange and yellow as in glowing flames and embers. The depression would of course be gray or black but even dark blue can be in there too. The hypomanic phases tend to be on the red spectrum but I also experience a good dose of purple because this is when my creativity peaks and I purple is my favorite and most influential color. Right now, I’m pretty far down the gray part of the spectrum though there are some midnight blues too.

I try to sit an meditate on all parts of the spectrum regardless of my colors though the hypomanic moments are hard to sit still in. Hitting the dark phase is not too bad as I find stillness and inner peace to be a critical part of my program. When I sit on my zafu (my buckwheat pillow that supports my butt and gives me good form) and my cushion and burn my incense, I feel an energy that soothes me. These days, I focus on a huge book of mandalas, “Celestial Mandalas” by amazing Tibetan artist Romio Shrestha, and pick one of his complex pieces to hone my attention in on. I also use meditation music and lately it’s been Steve Roach’s “A Deeper Stillness” and “Still Life – Volume Two” by Nelson Foltz and Tom Lynn. I think stillness is the key word here.

I’m not suggesting that meditation should only be reserved for the dark nights of the soul. I feel that it can also enhance your life when your hanging in the brightest lights as well. But, in addition to some psychiatric help, lots of family and friend support, and maybe some good comedies and soothing music, there is no substitute for finding the stillness and peace of a good sit.